With Lovers and Otherwise
Im a Mouse fur who recently started dating an awesome Leopard. We have a great time together, and I can really see this becoming a serious long term relationship. But lately, Ive noticed that he seems to get a kick out of cracking jokes about him being a carnivore and me looking good enough to eat. Ive been laughing it off, but I was wondering: Do you think I should take it as all in good fun? Or should I be more worried? Could it be that predator/prey relationships just dont work out in the long run?
Mouse from Illinois
Dear Tasty Treat,
Being a carnivore whose mate is an herbivore, Im on the flip side of your situation. My jackalope and I have our own inside jokes about my being a carnivoreand half of them were started by him! So unless your guy starts rubbing you with marinade, you dont have anything to worry about. A predator/prey relationship can work out just fine. I suggest my mates approach to the situation: Start insisting that Mice are the natural predators of Leopardsso small and quick, those poor kitties dont know whats happening til its too late!
My husband has a few frames of tasteful furry pin-ups hanging in our home office. I have no issue with this, myself, but our families are not comfortable with it. They have more of a dont ask, dont tell take on our furdom, and that works fine for us. Usually if my mother is stopping by, I just take the pictures down for the time shes over and hang them back up before my hubby gets home from work. Recently, though, his parents have announced that theyre coming to visit and want to stay with us for the weekend. How do I convince my husband to take down the pin-ups for a few days? If he doesnt, I just know that the entire visit will be tense and awkward. Yet he is insistent that this is his home and he can display whatever art he chooses. Help!
A Confused Cat in Boston
Dear Perplexed Feline,
Your husband does have a point: Its his house as well as yours. So both of you do, and should, have a say on how you want the place decorated. And when his parents are over and start to gripe about the pictures, youd absolutely be in the right if you calmly tell them that there is nothing offensive about the art but if theyre not comfortable staying in your home with it there, you can suggest a good hotel. It is not their place for them to tell you how to keep your home. If what youre saying is correct, and they are already aware of your furriness, then they shouldnt be surprised to see some signs of it portrayed in your decorating choices.
All of the above said and acknowledged, personal autonomy isnt the only issue here; theres also your respective relationships with his parents to consider. How you balance those issues is for the two of you to decide, but keep in mind that not everyone is comfortable seeing pin-ups (furry or otherwise!) in a friends or family members home. All in all, I would suggest to your partner that for the duration of his parents visit, he might want to consider replacing the pin-ups with anthro art of a less sexually-charged variety, and leave the bathing beauties for a more private collection.
Im not a fur myself, but my partner of 2 years and the love of my life is. To be clear, I have no problem with this, I love him just the way he is and wouldnt change a thing. Ive even grown to love his pet name for me; he calls me his bluebird, since I make him so happy and he loves to hear me sing. But even after 2 years, I still get the feeling hes not totally convinced that Im OK with his feathered side (his fursona is a parrot). I would like to get him something to show him that I love him, feathers and all, but they dont exactly make cards for this situation. Any suggestions?
-In love with a bird in Ohio
First off, your parrot is one lucky fur to have found someone like you in his life! I truly hope you have a long, happy and loving life together.
As to your question, The Dragoness thought on this one for a bit and came up with a great idea (well at least she thinks it is, anyway!): If your guy has been a member of the fandom for a while now, then he most likely has an anthro artist he likes. Why not commission them for a drawing of his parrot self sitting with a bluebird on its shoulder? Have a little heart above the bluebirds head, and youll have a beautiful piece of art not only expressing your love for each other, but your total acceptance of his furdom.
If he doesnt have a favorite artist, your favorite Internet search engine is your friend: There are plenty of artists who publicize their art (and willingness to create it for money) with their personal websites, and there are also a number of online galleries which display the work of many furry artistsFurAffinity, ArtSpots, FurNation, and the anthro section of DeviantArt being only the first four which come to mind. So poke around for a bit and find someone you like. Most artists take commissions, and depending on how much youre willing to spend, you can get anything from a line drawing to a digital painting. You shouldnt end up spending more than $100 on it, and thats if you go all-out.
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