by Quentin Long
©2006 Quentin Long

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   This being the April issue (or at least the March/April issue, anyway), I thought about doing something in honor of April Fool’s Day. I decided against it, because Anthro is still a fairly new kid on the block, and we’re still in the ‘building a readership’ phase, to be honest. Heck, we haven’t even hit our first anniversary yet! So, with all due apologies to those of you who expected me to pull some kind of gag like I’ve done with TSAT in 2004 and 2005, there ain’t no Anthro prank(s) this year.
   Next year is another matter entirely…
   Mind you, 1 April is still more than a month away as I write these words. This means there’s still time to think up crazy stunts to pull on your insufficiently-suspicious buddies! Here are a few suggestions you might want to consider:

   If you’re at a banquet, talk to the entree.
   Interrogate: “Reveal your troop movements at once, wretched avian!”
   Converse: “N’yeshta voar?” [pause] “Meszieud! Kasou!” [pause] “Sempa d’kroan.” [etc]
   Intimidate: “We don’t like your kind around here, Shell-boy.”
   Comfort: “Hang on! Dr. McCoy thinks he can still save you!”
   Autopsy: “From the coagulated proteins, we can deduce that the victim was subjected to great heat—probably immersed in boiling water—before the first incision was made…”

   Wear a fursuit in your daily routine. Act like there’s absolutely nothing unusual about it. If/when someone gives you grief over the ’suit, then you notice that that guy isn’t wearing a fursuit, and you give him static about the bizarre non-fursuit get-up he’s wearing! The ‘mindgame quotient’ of this prank is appreciably higher if the victim is dressed in utterly mundane clothing.

   This one’s for anybody who habitually drives in the carpool lane without a passenger: Leave an inflated balloon animal (the larger the better; at least 3 feet tall, and bigger if you can manage it) in the passenger seat of your victim’s car, wrapped in spare clothes so that its true nature isn’t immediately apparent to the eye. With any luck, your State Troopers will do the rest…

   In the office: Sneak some furry art onto your victim’s hard drive, and rename the files with boring, mundane, business-type names—stuff in the general neighborhood of BDGT2Q06 is what you want. Select the art to suit your victim, but keep in mind that anything Wingerized is probably not a good idea.

   No need to go further; if none of these four concepts inspires you, more would be a waste of time. Feel free to use/abuse/mutate/ignore any of these ideas, as you please. And if you come up with a particularly juicy prank-idea yourself, let me know, okay?

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